Amian Fans, Unite!
by The Cahill-Demigod Witch
Summary: Two-shot! If you agree that Evan gets in the way of Amian, read on! Thanks to IceHeartEli for helping with the plot! So what are you waiting for? "Because Amian is epic, and everyone knows that!"
1. Chapter 1

_**Hello! So I was chatting with HestiaCahill39 and then this idea popped into my head. Sort of similar to Maria Madrigal's story, "We Object" (which is awesome to the max—read it and see for yourself).**_

_**The website address isn't real. Just something I made up. But it would be nice if there really was a site like that… and I just want to say… no offense intended. You think Kurt gets in the way of Amian? HestiaCahill39 and I agree. So this is like something that basically says, "Down with Evan!" I hope you enjoy, though! Here you go!**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own The 39 Clues.**_

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><p>Amy Cahill was getting ready for a date with her boyfriend, Evan Tolliver. She glanced at the mirror one last time, then headed down the stairs, calling, "Nellie! I'll be going now!"<p>

"Have fun, kiddo!" Nellie hollered from the kitchen. Amy wondered what her au pair/big sister was cooking now.

But she didn't know that her supposed-to-be-perfect date wouldn't be _that_ perfect.

* * *

><p>In the restaurant where Amy and Evan were going to, a twelve-year-old girl named Lilia was waiting behind the counter, holding a fortune cookie.<p>

The door swung open, and Lilia's eyes grew wide. She clapped her hands twice, and other girls in the restaurant looked up and murmured among themselves, putting on their fan-girl-façade.

Lilia went over to Evan and Amy's table, handing each of them a menu. Then she discreetly dropped the fortune cookie she was holding on Evan's lap.

He frowned and picked it up as Lilia went back to stand behind the counter. He cracked it open and unrolled the piece of paper inside, revealing this message.

_**LOOK BEHIND.**_

He did so and saw a girl with his back to him typing calmly on her laptop. He also noticed a bag beside her laptop.

_What about that girl? _he wondered.

He turned back to Amy and shrugged, reading the menu.

* * *

><p>The girl who was typing—or Angel—shut down her laptop and stuffed it in the black laptop bag she had. Then she snapped her fingers, the sound ringing loud and clear throughout the restaurant.<p>

Lilia came over to Amy and Evan's table again and dropped another fortune cookie. He opened it.

_**LOOK BEHIND IN FIVE MINUTES.**_

"What?" he said.

"What?" Amy asked.

"Nothing." He glanced at his watch and nodded. It was now seven-fifty-five.

Angel smiled slyly as she opened her other bag and brought out some sort of necklace. No, it wasn't a necklace; it was an Egyptian amulet. She wore it and took out a short rod and a boomerang-shaped wand, snapping her fingers again.

The other girls in the restaurant fell silent, looking at the digital wall clock. It was seven-fifty-seven, three minutes to show time. Some of them got hold of light sabers. Some of them drew swords, NERF guns, and ninja shurikens. And others even had heavy-looking bowling balls.

Lilia had a wand and staff, because the pocket in her waitress outfit was too small to hold her dart gun and light saber, so she gave those to Angel while she was still on her shift.

All the girls (except Amy) stared at the wall clock, excitement switching all their senses into high gear. Now they just had to follow the plan that the two master strategists who were worthy of the Lucians in the fanbase—Angel and Lilia—did, and everything would go perfectly.

* * *

><p>At exactly eight o'clock, Evan turned around and found a large group of girls surrounding his and Amy's table. Even the waitress who gave him the two fortune cookies—her nametag read <em>LILIA<em>—was holding a… was that a boomerang?

"What's with the weapons?" he asked.

The girl who was typing five minutes ago grinned, her chocolate brown eyes sparkling with mischief. "Face the wrath of the Amian shippers!" she yelled.

That was when all hell broke loose.

"Because Amian is epic, and everyone knows that!" the girls shouted as they charged.

* * *

><p>Amy instantly backed away to the wall, watching in horror as the mob of angry fangirls swarmed her boyfriend.<p>

"Oh, don't worry, Amy," a girl around twelve said as she threw down a five-foot-long staff. "Evan will be well entertained."

"What do you—oh my god!" she shrieked as the girl's staff morphed into a roaring tiger which ran into the fangirls. "He'll get hurt!"

"No, he won't feel a thing," the girl assured. "By the way, my name is Angel."

"You don't sound angelic," she said.

"That's because I'm a magician of the Twenty-first Nome, and because Lilia and I made those fortune cookies Lilia dropped into Evan's lap," Angel said, snapping her fingers.

The fangirls stopped and moved back, waiting.

"Time for Ian to make his big entrance!" The girls cheered.

"What?" Amy said in bewilderment.

Angel and Lilia high-fived each other, and Ian Kabra appeared, stumbling from the wall.

"Now that's a big entrance," Lilia laughed.

"I'll sue you!" he hissed. Then he saw Amy. "Love?"

"Don't call me love," she said, but she wasn't angry. "What are you doing here? And you know them?"

The two girls waved, grinning.

"They're evil Lucians," he grumbled.

"Well, as if _you _aren't," Evan muttered.

"One more word and my tiger will rip your head off, Evan," Angel threatened with mock sweetness.

Lilia had something in her hands—was that a remote? "Live and rolling," she whispered, and the girls giggled.

Ian glared at her. "What is this? Another shenanigan of yours?"

"I'm no shenanigan doer, cousin," she purred. "I'm a part-time summer waitress. So get on with your part."

"You knew about their plan—whatever it is?" Amy exclaimed.

"No, they were blackmailing me," he sighed.

Angel held out her hand and a fireball appeared. "I'm willing to burn your Armani suits," she said cheerfully. "You know the drill, Ian."

Evan gasped from the floor. (He was lying flat, because Angel's tiger was on him.) "Can someone please get the tiger off me?" he demanded.

"After Ysa, Audrey, and Marie roll their bowling balls," Lilia replied. "Hit it!"

"One!" the other girls said as one of them stepped in front of Evan and bounced a bright blue rubber ball with the words _FOR V's ONLY_ on his head.

"So you used your special ball, Audrey," Angel said.

"Sure did," Audrey grinned. "Good thing it's only rubber."

"I can make it heavier, but I won't," Lilia said with a smile.

"That didn't even hurt," Evan said.

"You want it to hurt?" Audrey challenged. "I'll make it hurt."

"Whoa, whoa, stop," Angel chided. "Ysa, you're up."

The girl who must've been Ysa came over and stood by Evan's side, grinning evilly as she bounced her bright red ball with as much force as she could muster onto his back.

"Ow!" he cried.

"You said Audrey's ball didn't hurt," she reminded, high-fiving some other girls and Audrey.

"Marie," Lilia called. "Light saber, please!"

"What?" Evan's eyes widened. "You said that she had a ball too!"

"She does. It's a nice ball with some magic hieroglyphs," Angel said.

"What do those hieroglyphs—OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!" he yelled.

Marie laughed. "Those add one pound and you're already screaming your head off," she cackled.

Angel smiled at Ian. "You know the drill," she repeated. A brighter ball of fire appeared above her palm, along with an Armani suit hovering in the air. "Ten seconds, Ian."

His eyes widened. "Just don't burn my suit!" he shouted.

She didn't seem to hear him. "Ten… nine…"

He looked at Amy and took a deep breath. "Amy, I'm really sorry, and all I want is another chance," he said quickly.

"Five… four… three…"

"Please, please forgive me. I promise I won't use you or break your heart. I can give you everything in the world, not like that commoner," he said, glancing at Angel.

She smiled again and closed her hand, extinguishing the fireball. "Good job. Lilia, you can stop the cameras now."

Amy, Evan, and Ian gaped at her and Lilia. "YOU WERE FILMING US?" they cried.

Angel and Lilia grinned and gave each other high-fives. "Dan will love this," Lilia said as the two disappeared.

* * *

><p>Back in the Twenty-first Nome, or Brooklyn, Angel and Lilia were laughing their heads off in the room they shared.<p>

"Oh, this is gonna be good," Lilia said. "I guess you should type. We wouldn't want Carter or Sadie or anyone else to find out about this, and you're _way_ faster than I am."

Angel took the laptop and set it in front of her, then began typing. Around ten minutes later, she was done. (It took some time to choose the right words.) So this is the e-mail they sent using Angel's account:

_Dear Cahills, _

_Attached is a video that you might want to see. Amy has decided to give Ian another chance, so Evan Tolliver is history._

_Yours,_

_Angel and Lilia_

"Nice," Lilia said. "Hurry and send it; I think Carter's coming!"

Angel clicked the _send_ button just as their teacher, Carter Kane, came in. "What are you two up to?" he asked cautiously.

"Nothing!" she said, flashing a smile.

"Come on, we're about to start," he told them.

"Whatever Works," they sighed.

"We'll be right down," Lilia promised.

"Okay," he said, leaving.

The two giggled. Eventually their giggles turned into laughs as they headed out and down the stairs to the classroom/basketball court.

* * *

><p>Dan Cahill opened his laptop and checked his inbox. He saw a message with the subject <em>READ THIS ASAP.<em>

_Whatever,_ he thought as he clicked it and opened the attachment.

He grinned. Evan Tolliver being mobbed by angry girls? That was definitely a first.

He began to chuckle when three girls bounced rubber balls off him, and he howled every time. Then a girl was holding a formal suit (no doubt Ian Kabra's) with a fireball in one hand, threatening to set the suit on fire.

Dan heard Ian apologizing to Amy, saying that he could give her everything in the world. He laughed out loud. _Good thing Uncle Fiske is off to a Madrigal meeting,_ he thought, _or he'd freak._

* * *

><p>Natalie Kabra decided to see if she had any new online updates on the latest Prada bags or anything, but all she saw was an e-mail from someone she didn't know.<p>

Anyway, since the subject was _READ THIS ASAP,_ she read the short note and watched the video.

_Wait, isn't that Evan Tolliver, Amy's boyfriend?_ she thought.

Then when she saw a girl with a fireball threatening to burn one of Ian's Armani suits, she laughed. _Ian really does love his suits, but he loves Amy much more,_ she thought.

"You know the drill," the girl said as she held the fireball closer to Ian's suit.

Then he began asking for another chance, talking about how he could give her everything, and Natalie laughed again.

"I wonder if the other Cahills know about this," she mused, clicking the _reply_ button. Whoever Angel and Lilia were, they had given her perfect blackmailing material.

* * *

><p>Sinead, Ned, and Ted Starling were working on separate laptops and chatting with each other out of boredom.<p>

All of a sudden, an e-mail popped up in their inboxes.

"What's this?" Ted asked. "I can't really see."

"That's an e-mail, Ted," Sinead said. "And the subject is _READ THIS ASAP._"

"I wonder why," Ned mused. "Let's check it out."

They clicked on the message and saw the short letter. "It's a video of… Amy, Evan, and Ian?" he scratched his head.

Ted laughed. (Even if he can't see, he can still hear.) "This is hilarious! Who sent us this again?"

"Some girls named Angel and Lilia," Sinead replied. "Amy and Ian got together again, thanks to some group whose motto is, 'Because Amian is epic, and everyone knows that!'"

The Starlings laughed. "Look, they sent it to the other Cahill teens… and pre-teens," she added, remembering Dan and Natalie.

"How do you think they'll react to this?" Ned said.

* * *

><p>"Check e-mail!" Hamilton Holt bellowed to his sisters, Madison and Reagan.<p>

The three grabbed their laptops and saw the same e-mail in each of their inboxes.

"Same," Madison said.

"It's a video!" Reagan exclaimed.

"Let's watch it, then," Hamilton said.

Just as the video started, Reagan asked, "Why are there so many girls?"

"Watch," Madison said, waving her hand.

"Wow, light sabers," Hamilton said.

"And rubber balls?" Madison said in amusement. "This just gets better and better!"

Every time Evan cried out, the Holts laughed. "I'm starting to feel sorry for him," Reagan said.

"Hey, a girl is holding a fireball while telling Ian something about, 'You know the drill'," Madison pointed out. "And now he's apologizing!"

Hamilton chuckled. "Amy forgave him, so Evan _is_ history. We're free now!" he yelled triumphantly.

(And by free, he meant free to do whatever, because whenever Evan's there, the Cahills have to be careful.)

* * *

><p>During the time they had to rest up before lunch, Lilia and Angel went back to their room to see if any of the Cahills replied.<p>

"Everyone replied!" Angel said in surprise. "I really didn't expect that! Look what Natalie said."

_Angel and Lilia,_

_I guess I should thank you for sending me such a silly video. It will make the perfect blackmailing material for my brother._

_Signed,_

_Natalie Kabra_

"Cool," Lilia said. "Read the Holts' message!"

_THIS WAS AWESOME! Though Reagan sort of feels sorry for Evan._

_-Hamilton, Madison, and Reagan_

"They did send us a simple message," Angel said. "Let's see… the Starlings!"

_Lilia and Angel, _

_We found the video very funny. Was the fireball threat to Ian's suit (Armani, right?) real? Or was it just a special effect? _

_We think Dan and Natalie would be thinking about blackmailing Amy and Ian._

_Regards,_

_Sinead, Ned, and Ted Starling_

"Speaking of Dan, what did he say?" Lilia asked.

"I was just about to click his message," Angel said.

_Whoever you are, and whether you like ninjas or not, this was awesome! I can't wait to see Amy's reaction once she finds out that you sent this to other Cahills! Thanks a lot!_

_Dan the Ninja Lord_

"Still ninja-obsessed," they said at the same time.

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><p><em><strong>Okay, so as I was saying before this chapter, this is a "Down with Evan Tolliver" story. I know this should be in the crossovers section… but anyway please, please, please review! <strong>_

_**~PJOTKCLucian13 and HestiaCahill39**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**So I was still chatting with HestiaCahill39 while working on this. I added an OC, for my best friend Cristina. She insisted I give her character a machete (a kind of knife). So yeah, Cristina, here it is—your big wickedly sharp and shiny machete. **_

_**(You know the disclaimer.) And Jonah isn't here because… let's say he's on tour! XD**_

* * *

><p>What was everyone talking about at the gathering in Cahill Manor? You guessed it—the insanely hilarious video from Lilia and Angel!<p>

The Holts, Dan, Natalie, and the Starlings were quoting things from the video and even trying to imitate some stunts (especially the fireball thing) while trying not to ruin Natalie's dress.

When the double doors opened, everyone fell silent and began coughing in attempts to disguise their laughter, because Amy and Ian were coming in.

"What's with the coughing?" Amy asked.

"Nothing," they said, catching their breaths.

"Were you trying to summon a fireball, Dan?" she demanded.

"I mean, that's unfair! How can that girl do it and I can't?" her brother complained.

"It must be special effects," Ned said.

"But I think it's real," Madison insisted.

"Special effects," he said.

"Real!" she said loudly.

"Fiction!" he blurted.

"You're fiction!" she cried.

"We're all fiction! Now will you two be quiet?" Dan yelled.

"Yes, you are fiction," a familiar voice said from the second floor. Everyone looked up and gasped—the two girls leading the fangirls' mob were looking down at them with playful smiles.

"And probably we are too," her friend added. "My name is Lilia, and this is Angel. We sent you the video of Evan Tolliver being—"

"Pwned!" Angel said gleefully, checking her watch. "An hour or so before they notice we're missing… and I owe Carter a duel."

"Who are you talking about?" Ian asked.

"Oh, someone who's way better than you," she replied, waving a dismissive hand.

He turned bright red and opened his mouth to speak, but she made him forget what he had to say because she opened her hand and a fireball appeared.

"How the heck can you do that?" Dan demanded.

"We're magicians. It's simple," Lilia said, doing the same.

"So you pull rabbits out of hats?" Madison asked.

"No!" Angel shook her head. "Poor fellows, we get tired of teleporting them back home!" She jumped down from the second floor and landed perfectly on the carpet, twirling a staff—the same staff she held in the video. "Ever heard of the Chinese zodiac?" she asked.

"Twelve animals, right?" Amy said.

"Right! And I'm year of the Rabbit," she sighed, throwing down her staff.

"You're surrendering?" Natalie asked.

Her staff turned into a cute little white rabbit that hopped around, its long ears swaying back and forth.

"Aww," Reagan said.

"I know," Angel said, snapping her fingers. The rabbit turned back into a staff, which flew to her open hand. "So I'm here to tell you, the fireball thing is no special effect. It's real. Come on, Lilia!"

Lilia landed next to her friend and grinned. "I wouldn't miss that duel for the world," she chuckled. "If Nico from Percy Jackson was there, I'd make a bet with him that you'd win!"

"Thanks. Well, good-bye, Cahills," Angel said.

"Can you teach me how to do the fireball?" Dan asked hopefully.

"Nope. Keep dreaming."

"Aww!" But the two girls had already vanished.

* * *

><p>"Where have you two been?" Sadie asked.<p>

"Wha—you said we had an hour before they noticed we were gone!" Lilia told Angel.

Angel shrugged. "Is Carter on his mall date with Zia?" she mused.

"No, I'm right here," Carter said, though he was blushing.

"Good. You're blushing, right? So let's get this over with," she said with a smirk.

"You look like the Kabras when you smirk," Lilia said.

"I know. That took me a long time to perfect," Angel said.

_~flashback~_

"_If I win the duel, you'll stop your tricks," Carter said._

"_Sure, sure, whatever," Angel said, rolling her eyes. "And if _I_ win, be prepared."_

"_What are you going to do?" he asked._

"_Oh, I'm not one to give out spoilers, Carter," she said with a sly smile. "Just get ready if I win."_

"_You're on," he said._

_~end of flashback~_

"No avatars," Angel reminded. "That'd be unfair; Anubis doesn't have an avatar! Or does he?"

"No, he doesn't," Carter said. "Okay then. Just spells." _I was never that good at spells,_ he thought.

"Since you had the _oh-crap-I'm-dead_ look on your face when you said, 'Just spells', we'll just fight the way you want—with weapons," she said with a shrug, bringing out her staff.

"But no machine guns, or whatsoever," he said.

"No, no. Just a magic penguin."

"WHAT?"

"I'm kidding. That's what Felix would say," she said cheerfully, twirling her staff as if it was a baton. It turned into two twin _khopesh_ swords.

"Hey!" he said.

"Whoops. Those weren't supposed to be like yours." She snapped her fingers and they turned into five shurikens and one katana.

"Where did you get that?" he asked.

"From my imagination. Now are we going to start? Because there's this weird voice in my mind telling me to get a Fuji apple," she said.

"A Fuji apple?" he said in disbelief.

"Could that be Anubis?" Angel grinned as she threw a shuriken, which Carter easily dodged. He came at her with his _khopesh_, but she was able to deflect his blade with her katana.

"That would be so OOC if it was Anubis," Lilia muttered.

"I second that emotion!" Angel yelled as Carter said, _"Ha-wi!"_

She slammed against the wall and crumpled to the floor, releasing her katana.

He rushed over to help her, but when he was close enough, she grabbed his blade and twisted his arm into a painful angle.

"Ow! Ow! Angel!" he yelled.

"What?" she asked innocently, adding more pressure.

"OOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!" he cried.

Sadie stifled a laugh as Angel released Carter, who clutched his arm and winced.

"Aw, I won't do anything until your arm heals, Carter," Angel promised. "That way you can fight me in perfect condition."

"You'd better not," he grumbled.

"Meow," she said, in perfect imitation of a cat's meow.

"Dan, Natalie, what are you two giggling about?" Amy asked with her arms folded across her chest.

Her brother laughed again.

"What is it?" Ian demanded. "Natalie?"

"The cameras that filmed the first video were turned on again… or they were left on," Natalie said, regaining her composure.

Ian's eyes grew wide. "Oh, no," he said.

Dan and Natalie grinned and gave each other a high-five, which meant only one thing.

_MORE BLACKMAILING MATERIAL!_

Then they went on laughing.

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><p><em><strong>This two-shot is officially finished. *sniff*<strong>_

_**The "MORE BLACKMAILING MATERIAL" thing was what HestiaCahill39 told me while I was telling her about this part. Hehe…**_

_**Say, please check out this story too. It's Kane Chronicles, also Romance/Humor. Title is "The Mambo Nr. 5", written by HestiaCahill39 (and I helped with the plot).**_

_**Please leave a review! **_

_**~Sam**_


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